Dates: 1/14/23 – 1/15/23
Training Week: 0 (official training restarts tomorrow!)
Time: 32 (easy run w/hills)
Activity: Yoga x2
Mobility/Stretching: Yes
Ate Well: Ish? Okay, I splurged. A lot.

Commentary: So many random things flitting about in my mind this Sunday morning, so sorry if this is an even longer than the usual post!

I’ll start out with the training journal part. I managed a run yesterday, and it felt alright. My left heel where my Achilles attaches is still bothering me something fierce after I run. This morning (Sun), I did not feel like running. Even the thought of getting on the treadmill to walk/hike seemed too taxing. So, I did restorative yoga instead (I usually do Hatha).

My lack of motivation to run got me wondering if the blahness is not on its way out. At the end of yoga, as I sat cross-legged with my hands at prayer in front of my heart, I gave myself a gentle reminder. Trust yourself. It’s okay to not feel like running! Especially right now when you’re pulling yourself out of the pit of blahness. Beating yourself up about it will only make the blahness last longer. You are enough, and you’re right where you need to be.

Runalyze is my go-to for gauging my fitness and training. It has shown my fitness slowly declining since my last race. Today, I checked it, and it said my fitness level was 26%, and my 50k is in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. But I keep telling myself that I can basically hike the whole thing if I need to. And what’s the worse that happens? I DNF. Not the end of the world. It’s good to have goals and work towards them, but remember, it’s just as much about the journey as it is the destination.

In the late afternoon, I finally got a workout in after finishing my homework. Instead of doing Body Pump, I opted for Les Mills Tone because it boasted being a whole body workout with cardio, strength, and core training that will “boost fitness and strength, and improve flexibility, agility and balance.” Unfortunately, I moved the TV from my workout room to the upstairs living room, so I was stuck using my old laptop to watch the video.

Let me tell you what – that workout kicked my ass! I can’t say it was the greatest strength workout except for the legs and core, and I’m not sure about the flexibility claim either, but damn did hit cardio, agility, and balance. And the 30 minutes went by fast, which is positive. I think I shall do it again! I also plan to add in some P90X3 workouts that I know will help with strength.

I finally made up some more electrolyte mix. One day when I was feeling lazy I looked up pre-made electrolyte drink mixes. A friend of mine uses LMNT, so I checked them out. They say we need a lot more sodium than the FDA recommends, especially if we work out and/or eat a lot of whole foods. According to the FDA, about 70% of sodium intake in American diets comes from processed foods, so it makes sense that folks eating whole foods need to consciously get more sodium in their bodies.

The thing I really liked about LMNT is they have a whole page dedicated to explaining why they created their product, why they chose the ratio of electrolytes they did, and include a bunch of electrolyte drink recipes. The recipes are for those who want a flavored drink, which I could care less about. But I did follow their ratio of 1 gram of sodium, 200 mg of potassium, and 60 mg of magnesium. They recommend magnesium malate, which I had to order, so it wasn’t until it showed up that I could start mixing.

After looking at the nutrition labels and doing a bit of math, I came up with this electrolyte recipe:

• 4 7/8 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp Morton’s Lite Salt
• 1 scoop magnesium malate

This gives me the 100:20:6 Na:K:Mg ratio that LMNT recommends. I chose to use baking soda because the bicarbonate helps to neutralize acids in the body. I put chlorophyll in my water every day to help alkalize my blood, so neutralizing acids seemed like a good side benefit of an electrolyte mix.

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Yesterday I went bowling with a bunch of folks from work. As the Activities Director, I organize a monthly work outing to try to get folks together outside of work. The idea is to see your coworkers as people with lives and loved ones. That way at work you’ll think about their safety more during evolutions and hopefully, be more willing to communicate and collaborate.

Because of the blahness, the idea of hanging out with people seemed like too much. but bowling was a blast! The group at our lane chatted quite a bit, everyone at the event cheered everyone on when they got a strike, and I even broke 100 on the last game. I also splurged on a breakfast burrito and a beer! But the highlight of the day was a guy who has never come to any of the events actually came – and he had a good time! He didn’t even bowl due to his back problems, but he enjoyed himself and thanked me for convincing him to go. I love my Activity Director job!

Speaking of my splurge, I have devoured whatever is in front of me for much of my life. The food didn’t even have to be delicious, but I would stuff myself like an idiot. I was also plagued by the munchies almost nonstop, constantly opening the cupboards and fridge, looking for this “thing” I was craving, but never finding the “thing” and just eating to try to get the cravings to go away. For the past couple of weeks, this hasn’t been a problem.

I don’t know if it’s because of my new “diet” of minimizing processed foods, grains, and sugars, breathing through my nose more, or both. What I do know is I feel so much better. I’m rarely ever bloated, when I’m hungry it’s because I’m hungry, not because I just want to eat. Once I’m full, I stop eating. Who is this girl?!

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At work, we have an intern who is currently still a student at Idaho State. Each week she and I have an online meeting to discuss what she’s studying for her internship, but we also chitchat about life because we became friends while we worked together over the summer. On multiple occasions, she’s said that she looks up to me. Me?! A good friend of mine I met in the Navy also told me she looked up to me. Me?!

Each time I hear this I think, there has to be somebody better you can look up to. This morning I tried to think of why someone would look up to me instead of thinking of why someone shouldn’t look up to me. See, that’s the key. When I find out someone looks up to I only focus on why they shouldn’t. All I do is put myself down. By doing this, I’m also putting down the person who looks up to me. I’m saying that they can’t judge character, have low standards, or don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. It’s not fair to them or me.

Why should someone look up to me at work? I have succeeded for over a decade in the male-dominated field of nuclear power. I don’t always do things the same way everyone else does them. I think outside of the box, and I take action on the things I believe in, like my self-appointment as Activities Director. I take pride in my work and don’t do anything half-assed. I’m also willing to be vulnerable at work. If I’m struggling at work whether because of work- or home-related stuff, I let it be known.

Why should someone look up to me as a person? I am constantly working on improving myself. I push myself. I am myself and don’t act differently around other people. I don’t give a single fuck what other people think, except for the people who really matter (my husband and sister). I pursue my dreams instead of doing what everybody else is doing. I learn from my mistakes and move on. I care about other people and show it.

Yeah, I am a person someone could look up to.

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Right around the time of Dead Horse, my cat’s fur started looking a little rough, like she wasn’t grooming. It seemed to get better after Thanksgiving. Then it seemed to get worse. Usually when she sits on our laps she’ll groom herself at some point. This has not been happening. Her fur is starting to feel greasy and is getting kind of spikey instead of being silky smooth.

Everything online says I need to take her to the vet, so on Monday, I plan to call to make an appointment. I’m worried about my dear kitten. What could be wrong with her? Is she dying? Will she be okay? She needs to live as long as possible!!! I honestly don’t know what I’ll do when her time comes. She is my child. She has supported me through so many hard times. She brings so much joy to my life. She and I are so much alike that it’s almost creepy. I love my cat, and I just want her to be healthy and happy for as long as possible.

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I love learning. If I could be a student for the rest of my life, I would. There’s so much I want to learn, and so little time that I tend to try to learn everything as fast as possible. This doesn’t make any sense when it comes to college classes because everything is taught on a timeline. And when I’m trying to learn super fast, I tend to not really learn it.

Now that I’ve acknowledged this deficiency of mine, I plan to do something about it. This semester my goal is to sloooooow down and really learn all the information and processes. If GIS is something I want to do for a living I need to know it well, not just have an idea about how to do things. Getting my master’s is great and all, but it’s just a piece of paper unless I learn the material well and know how to use what I’ve learned.

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As some of you may or may not know, my mom and I have an… interesting relationship. I’m not all that close with her. For as long as I can remember my mom has never really known me. The cooks at the café my parents owned knew I liked my bacon crispy and always made it that way. My mom gave me half-cooked bacon. She keeps asking me when I’m going to get my teeth straightened because she cares about appearances and has yet to figure out that I don’t.

For the past year or so my mom hasn’t asked me anything about myself or my life. When we message each other she tells me what she’s doing and has going on, but not once has she asked about me. It reminds me of that Toby Keith song, I Wanna Talk About Me. Just once I wanted my mom to show the slightest hint of interest in my life. Today it happened.

I got a message from my mom, “Hi, how are you?” I sent her a brief summary about the blahness, school, and running. She didn’t respond to a damn thing I said and instead went on about herself, as usual. But it’s progress, right?!

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